I can’t find the words to describe what I wanted
and now that I have it I’m feeling quite taunted
Its too little to late to start apologies
I don’t expect you to accept just here me out please
I have no anger left and sense of disappointment
I understand I did this but now it feels so pointless
the words that were said were not supposed to be
they rolled right off our tongues how could you be so cruel to me
when all I ever wanted was to tell you how I felt
I went about it wrong but I only blame myself
and maybe I was right and maybe we did change
and maybe we couldn’t no lie no more we just weren’t the same
but I’m not here to fight and I never wanted to
I’m just here to talk and get the message through
am I weak because I wanted just for you to know
that I don’t feel we are close anymore so why put on a show
I can barely get the words out I’m started to get knots
but since this whole thing started I’ve been depressed a lot
you took it one step too far and now we can’t look back
why don’t you feel one ounce of pain is this the drama u lack?
and is it weak for me to say this that the pain I walk with I keep
and is it dumb for me to admit that I cry myself to sleep
I know that I was wrong and I should of done this better
but that’s just me I’m just screwed up at least it wasn’t a letter
I look back at the pictures the hundreds that we’ve taken
but notice they weren’t recent, this whole things been mistaken
and I know you want to show the world your strong enough to fight
but please put down the gun and see I just don’t have all night
because once upon a time I took you as a sister
and now things have just changed and its all become so bitter
it wasn’t meant to get this far I didn’t want this disconcerting you
I just didn’t know how to tell you the truth without hurting you
I’m sorry for the way I act and the things I’ve once done
but this should of ended differently so now you think you’ve won
this isn’t a battle I’m not that kind of person
you know me better than anyone that’s why you keep hurting
this isn’t a sign of weakness I just can’t take the drama
if it doesn’t end now it’ll b a chain of karma
its just the little things you do kind of make me twitch
but I should of told you first stead of being a bitch
this never was a battle it wasn’t meant to be
and if you took it that way I swear I’m so sorry
so tell the world you’ve won
tell them all I was so weak
but it wasn’t a fight if you were the only one fighting
the public craves this drama they find it so exciting
when two best friends fall down all they see is drama
so why feed their hunger while we deal with this trauma
I don’t expect you to forgive me just see what ive been feeling
I know I was wrong, as were you, but how have you been dealing?
lets put this all behind us now I’ve got no strength to fight
the flag I hold beside me has turned from red to white.

It breaks my heart a little more everyday
That we can’t just be in the sisterly way
That it’s a constant battle for perfection
And no form of sibling protection
Its like where ever I go I’m constantly challenged
I hate this fight and the constant doubting
That I have the right to be 21
And you have mentality to be 16
This isn’t a contest it’s just living
I could care that your older and your allowed to be drinking
You don’t understand that you break my heart
Why can’t you be normal and for once be smart
I have to spell words out like “remember”
And how hard is It to remember my birthdays in September
Yes I am young and yes you are older
you shouldn’t be dulling me you should be my shoulder
You should be my best friend why can’t you just be
Instead you’re just pretend, and try to control me
Your not a big sister, your minds still too young
And the pain that you’ve caused me is rolling right off my tongue
Stop envying me because there’s nothing to envy
You create this yourself that’s why you’re so heavy
I beginning to hate you and just want to deflate you
Poke a pin your tummy and see what would happen
This really isn’t funny I don’t see anyone laughing
Why can’t you just hold me and show me some love
Fix all my problems and then give me a huge
I guess I can’t change you, you’re already done
And I will be too with you, when I turn 21.
And I’m punished for YOUR actions cause they’re scared I’ll be like you
I can’t get the satisfaction and I cant do what I want to do
I gotta be a stepford kid cause they wont let me sink low
And god forbif I fail one class, I’m cursed from head to tow
I sit here and listen to your stupid sob stories
About a man 4 times your age, whose just really horny
He’s not looking for love, he just wants to use you
But you’ll never get tough, you’ll just let them abuse you
And I’m sorry this happens I wish I could stop it
But I’ve tried so many times now I just learned to drop it
You ask me for advice like I’m the older sister
Where were you for me when I was feeling bitter
So that’s it I’m done, my hearts too broken
Good luck with your life because the towels been thrown in

Heres to the losers that hurt me, and watched me cry
Ill put both middle fingers up before I wave goodbye.
To the losers that lost me, never knew what they had
Now im the one happy and they’re the ones feeling sad.
Heres to the suckers that used me, and lead me to believe
the ones that mentally abused me, and then refused to leave.
Fuck the ones who I liked, because never once even loved
The ones who put up a fight, and never made something of.
To the low lifes I’ve met, and their negative appeal
The ones I thought I could trust, and the ones that cant feel.
Heres to the best friends I’ve lost, oh too many to count
In and out like chapters, in this novel lifes about.
Heres to the one that I love, for he is the keeper
Hes the one that I trust, hes my one true believer.
And when life shuts me down, and throws me to my knees
Hes always around, and he always believes.
So to the ones that I hate, and the ones that I love
The ones who discriminate, and take advantage of.
The ones that left me there, alone and confused.
And the ones who ripped me open, made me feel used.
I hope you live a really great life, married with kids and a real great wife
I hope she treats you good, someone who leans on you.
And one day when your happy I hope she cheats on you.

My Puppy
My Puppy #2
My Puppy #3
Black Sky w/ Bright Sun
Flower
Sand
Sink
Flowers#2
Flowers #3
Flowers#4
Flowers#5
Flowers#6
Sun Rays Through One Cloud
Trees Full of Snow
Orange Clouds
Autumn
Sun Trying to Get Through The Clouds
Blue Sky w/ White Clouds
Sun on the Water
Sun Setting
Sun Setting #2
Kids Playing @ the beach
Spider Web
Sun Setting #3
Street Light
Electronics
Church
Snug Harbor Building
Snug Harbor Building #2

It makes me cry to see how far we’ve grown
We were tighter then tight and it was well known
and the summers spent together will never fade away
as my heart burns in pain for just one more day
tears pour down my face as I write these sad words down
but I gotta get em out, before I start to drown
Remember singing everything as if we knew the words
we pissed my family off that summer, we sang like little birds
Remember when I cried to you because I had to let him go
You stood by me as I tore his picture in pain, and tried not to let it show
Remember Seaside and the log flume, when we almost died
Remember what I screamed then we laughed until we cried
Remember our videos we danced like ass holes
and all our secrets no one but us knows
Why’d you leave me now every things changed
Should of came with me, now nothings the same
So many pictures, so many memories
You were a really good friend true to everything you said to me
less then cousins, more like sisters
But every things different and I’m sitting here bitter
I hope one day life snaps back and were sitting under the clouds
the way we used to “tan” after coming out of the poor for hours
Stupid fights we had, though, there weren’t that many
always taking stupid pictures and making them funny
Will You Remember Me?
&& one day when we grow older and lives are taking different paths
ill remember the old days, my stupid jokes and the way you’d laugh|

Its written inside her, the pain that was caused
Broke her down, lied to her; the lies that were lost.
She cries in her hands as the pain starts to ride her.
No one to help her stand except K-9s beside her.
& its hurts so fucking bad to see him lie about it.
Cause he knows deep down inside shes gunna cry about it.
When he was the one to say he’d never leave her.
Now shes the one saying she dont believe her.
Believe what you want I can’t control it.
But he’ll hurt you and we both know it.
Let it all out in one loud scream.
Crys on her knees as her nose starts to bleed.
A second to breathe as the boy she loved is all she sees.
He fights for her and tries to compel.
and she dont even realize how hard she fell.

I’ll take every fucking word you said
and turn them into blood you shed
When I burn you down to the ground
and I walk away without a sound and I turn around
look you in the eye one last time
an hold the hand that I call mine.
I’ll kiss this boy as we try to define me
he cures the scars you left inside me
Used up to my very last strength
and I’ll soar through the sky cause I’m high from this pain
Poke me again bitch, see if I’ll break
You should give up on life, for your own sake
its all I can take, as I find my true love
recover from the pain you put me through as i admit “Enough”
and I wear my heart on my bloody sleeve
Tears dried and I finish my bleed
Look up into the eyes that actually care
He stapples my heart and heals my tare
sees me for me, treats so much better
We stand hand in hand and we promise forever
So Fuck You superman you got some nerve
I’ll burn you down its what you both deserve

& I can see it in your eyes, when I talk about it

Hear it when you sigh, and I know you doubt it

Because you were my number one, and now you dropped

We used to have so much fun, but not it all stopped

I just wish you’d be happy for what I found

Sad for so long now look what came around

The pain I feel in side you, the awkwardness beside you

As he is holding my hand, and you were wishing you had a man

More closely than a sister, this friendship that feels so strong

I finally found my mister, but you make it feel so wrong

And we laugh as we talk about it, but the truth is that I love him

And I know I used to doubt it, but now I can’t get enough of him

I come to you happy or sad, but sometimes I feel like u really don’t care

I sit here in tears, wishing you’d tell me your fears

You know I won’t get hurt so why are you trying to steer

The rage that you give me makes me wanna choke you

Tare you up inside and try to provoke you

Grow the fuck up, I wish I didn’t even know you

Cause you put people down and cry for attention

No ones pain is worse than yours, and I won’t forget to mention

As you sit there in tears praying for a friend

I was there to pick you up; at least I’m not pretend

I want to sit here and cry in your arms make you understand

One day when I’m older I am going to marry this man

And you’ll never fall behind you’ll always be my best

Because memories with you are nothing like the rest

You’re the love of my life blood couldn’t bring us closer

As hard as I try, I don’t know if I’m supposed to

I calm myself down and bite my tongue

I love you to death and love what you’ve done

You showed me how to be a better friend

You were there for me a best friend

And no man will come between us even the man that I chose

Because no matter what its hoes over bros =]

[christopher]
I’m laying by your side and I couldn’t be much better
Everything has come together and I hope it lasts forever
Cause every tie’s been severed to the past that I once held
You picked me up a thousand times every time I fell
And everything’s gone well and everything’s so perfect
The struggle that we went through, I think that it was worth it
Cause everything has purpose and both of us are fighters
And love is the igniter of these hearts that fill with fire
And when everything gets dire and the world is falling inward
The sum of my soul’s purpose can be always found in this word
The letters fixed this hurt and have helped me rise above
A word and feeling in me, you’re my everything, my love

[melanie]
We can make the world jealous with the love that we posses
We may not be that perfect but this month has been the best
And I cant wait to grow older and be your wife
Have your kids and have you in the rest of my life
You’ve made me so happy, over the moon kinda love
And I’ll never get bored and you’ll always be enough
Cause your voice became my daily routine
I finally found the man of my dreams
And when you whisper that you love me, I wish I had your last name
I’ve waited so long to hear that, I’m so happy that you came
We are so in love, your my man and I’m your girl
I’ll wait forever to be your wife, but for now we’ll fight the world.

 Notes: This is a poem I wrote with my baby,  I absoulutly love him and this poem can’t even express the love I have.

So now the angers built up inside me
are you happy? I cant believe you even tried me
get the dick out ya mouth and fight me
now you saying you own dis school
bitch u fucked one dude, Yeaaa your cool
u writtin checks ur ass cant cash
now im flowin down a one way street, im guna crash
ignored ya dumb ass till i jsut cant take it
told you i aint just talking shit, now i aint tryna fake it
because look deep inside you, what kinda shit u pullin
who u tryna impress startin a scene like that who u foolin
now a ball of fires burning in a heart thats undesired
& shes on the floor now crying, wanting the one man shes inspired
as he sits there punching away every tear she drops down
and they both hit the ground, feet first not a sound
and shes crying inside just a little
as hes dieing inside just a little
Her lifes not full till he calls her back
he puts her at ease cause shes the sally to his jack
Now this whores callin ma phone cause she cant get enough
little freshman girl tryan think shes tough
give up little girl youll never make on top
theres only one top you like to be on, you dirty fuckin slut
but i wont waste no more time, wont waste one more tear
erase this fear, you aint gunna put me down this year