Head games

my lonley heart is so0 full of emotion
tryin 2 send these signals of devotion
i come off as something i never wanted 2 be
i want everyone to see the real me
your so quick 2 judge
and now its enough
y cnt u understand these words i say
i want to be with you 2 day
your all i think about, all i want
but your makin ma past become one big taunt
i wanna forget all the mistakes ive made
but i guess this is the price ive paid
ive had alo0t of regrets
that im tryin 2 forget
but for once in ma life
im tryna make this right
Lets not move 2 fast nd babie lets no move to0 slow
i just wnna be wit you right now nd i want the world 2 kno
no one else matters but you y cnt u understand
i dnt think bout any one else u are ma onli man
please dnt let this whole thing turn out 2 be something thats fake
another heart break this yr is too much for me 2 take
be honest wit me babiee either you wnt me or you dont
dnt play games wit ma heart bc wen ur serious nd wnt me bac i wont
trust me babie i will neverr hurt you
why would i want to
i walk down this lonley road wearin colors of black
but in everyone else’s eyes i wear red
im just tryin 2 convice the world that these colors i lack
is from pain i cnt explain enough said
i just want for once to have someone care
i just want for once to have somone whos always there
im tired of searching in all the wrong places
and falling in love with all the wrong faces
but i want this to work and ill do anything 2 make it
i have these feelings deep down and i cnt fake it
i want us 2 be 2 gether
thru hard times nd stormy weatha
i will not let you down as long as you promise the same
and with all that said i hope this isnt a game
i hope you are honest when you say u want this
but i kno i close my eyes so0 tight everytime we kiss
so0 to tell you truth ive never felt this way for you b4
but i rele hope you dont walk out ma door
leave me on the floor
where im always left alone
waiting by my fone
hoping you call ’cause i love 2 hear ur voice
babiee ill never let you down i would never break your heart
please babiee give love a chance nd this choice will be smart
your smile lights up ma day your kiss makes me have this feelin
i can neverr hide
im not gunna lie
i wanna be with you
and ill do anything i have to
ill wait for you foreva
just for us 2 be 2getha
i wanna be ur grl
i want u 2 be ma man
please dnt turn out 2 have this horrible plan
the one that hurts me bad
the one that will scarr me sad
please babiee be tru
and ill for eva lo0ve you !
67

last summer heart break

How fast feelings change over night

so here i am again
broken by another man
i thought it was right but i guess i always do0
i am so0 qucik 2 admite that i love you
always gettin hurt alwayss havin pain
so0o many different men playin da same game
you fucked mee overr u said u wudnt
i tried not 2 let u in but i just cudnt
y does it hurt so0 much
u were just a little crush
i wanted it 2 be real
i wntd 2 tell you how i feel
now i cnt get your face outta ma head
i wish i was in da moment where u were holdin me on ya bed
every day is so0 happy
every night is so0 crappy
i wanna see you so0 baddd
even tho im mad
i want you 2 hold me in ya arms
fuck guys nd there stupid charms
tears roll down so0 fast nd steady
one heart break afta another , ma body just aint ready
so0 much painn i dunno whut 2 do0
baby why didnt u believe mee wen i said i love you
i wanted 2 be with you nd i still do0o
stop pushin me away
to0 see if i stay
but i will
2 be w, u id kill
babiee answa ya fonee stop ignorin me 2 night
mayb it is wrong bc all we do0 is fight
u punish me for ma old mistakes
im so0 tired of these summer heart breakss
babbieee i wantt you pleaseeeeee wnt me bac
wit u i was so0 happy so0 whut do0 we lack
or mayb im wrong mayb i just wantt 2 wnt you
mayb ma hearts confused
its just that im used 2 bein abused
i dnt mean 2 sound like a feen
but i hate being a teen
i just wish this was easy
i jutt wnt someone to please me
im tried of pain
playin dis fuckin game
i just wnt real lo0ve
ive had enough
nd im tryin 2 push away
but i just wanna stay
but fuck it ur all da same
im tired if playin a fuckin game
im givin up on love
throw in da towel ive had enough
mayb this was a mistake
just my last summer heart break
68

feelin ya

i have this crazi illusion
that despite all the confusion
some where in our future
we cud be 2gether
i didnt see this feelings coming
wen i first discovered them i started running
hidin from pain
ridin a one way lane
a lane that leads 2 no where
now i just rele dun care
wen im with u i cnt help but stare
i cnt get u outta ma head
i cnt even go 2 bed
i wanna be with you
i wanna lay with you
i wanna sleep with you
i wanna be your girl
i wanna be ur world
i wanna be the grl u write ya raps about
i wanna be the grl u tell ya friends about
the one u cnt live with out
i wnt this all without a doubt
im feelin ya boi cnt u tell
i wud travel thru heaven nd hell
u are something close 2 perfect
nd i kno ur definitly worth it
we started this wrong so lets start ova
bc we both live our lives like-a rolla coasta
i try 2 ignore u nd make u wnt it
but i cnt help it
i wanna talk 2 u
i wanna be in ur mind for at least a minute
i kno u think im feenin but boi u just dnt understand
i wnna be ya grll boi i wnt u 2 be ma man
I heart
make da right choice this time be smart
tell me u wanna see me then u ignore me online
make it like u dun care but u always show up on time
cnt sleep cnt eat cnt get u outta maa freakin head
baby if i cnt be with you please memba da words i said
i kno we jsut met but i kno dat ur the one
i love 2 be around u , ur just so0 much fun
u always find away 2 make me laugh
even wen im mad
baby i cud be ur other half
i wud never make u sad
u nd me 2 gether dats the onli way i wnt it
dun get this idea about me i just got sometin nd i like 2 flaunt it
so0 gimme one chance 2 make things right
baby just gimme 2 night
so0 i cn tell u aint feelin me
nd baby i dunno y
but i aint gunna sweat it .. it aint no reason 2 cry
i just wntd u 2 kno that i wudnt of been a mistake
but i guess u like dat feelin from da other grls, da feelin of heart break
wut did i do0 2 u
just say it if u wanna be friends
but i cnt stop dis feelin i feel. this shit wont eva end
so0 bay bay is it yes or no
cause i gotta kno
boi i rele cnt take no more pain
dis is the same shyt same game
u said that u were different
but all i see is da same shyt
u fought till da end
sayin u werent like da otha men
so0 prove it
boi just move it
show me u cn be da man i always wantd 2 be wit
bc i believe that u cud be it
76

Nightmare

you kno in dreams
u feel like ur tryin 2 reach a destination
but cnt quite find ur way ?
why cnt i wake up

wake me from this sleepy nightmare
the onli one i kno is life
darkness all around me even in the light
no turnin bac from mistakes
onli look forward
my hearts sinkin lower as the day goes on
my hearts breakin in two as life continues to fuck me over
regret is something neverr 2 say
so0 y do i feel that way
the walls are cavin in
all i wanna do is sleep from all the pain
but i shut my eyes nd i cnt seem 2 get away
from this darkness
the sweet things in life
are the things 2 charish,
money, babies, puppies, love,
the sour things are the things 2 learn from
poverty, lonliness, sorrow ,pain
people dunno how good they got something
until it releases from there grasp
like wen u pic up sand nd the grains fall through
u just cnt quite capture the sand
as well as life
its complicated, but thats wut we learn from
thats wut we look upon nd learn from
pain.

im buyin a one way ticket
to board a plane of no return
my hearts racin as i find my seat
that will be the onli comfort for the rest of my days
my hours or limited
minutes are counted
till i arrive at my destination
theres various temtation 2 turn back around
but no chance of survival if i decide 2
so0 i punch the review mirror but
theres no choices just no explaination
just here just now
just me
all alone
always alone
findin my place in the world
hopin in the end i dont fall
the clouds are passin
the day is growin dark
but im still on the long ride 2
the place of no return
to the land of devistation
alone ill go0

“Just Friends”

&& 2 da one who saved me ……..
it is what it is
im done wit dis shit

another piece of ma heart down da drain
more pain
same game
shuda never fell in love
now i kno ive had enough
shuda neva told u how i felt
bc now im left outside in da acid rain 2 melt
hands shakin
heart breakin
da lies i told my self i was takin
that despire da stormy weatha
wed be 2 gether
“Just friends”, Im tight
but now we just friends its iight
fuck it ull miss out not me
bc this is how u wnt it 2 be
i could have been da best thing that eva happeend 2 u
nd i kno eventually ill get thru
but for ryte now i still love you
68